Safety Belt

You grab your history book and you start reading and you got like five pages to read, you?re blowing through the text, and you come across a word that you?ve never seen before. What do you do?

What you?re supposed to do and what you?ve been taught to do since childhood is put your book down, pick up your dictionary and look up that word, maybe write a little note for yourself after you?ve learned the definition, understand the word and context, understand the passage a little bit better as a whole, and cruise on through your homework that night.

Let me guess that that?s probably not what you would really do if put in that situation. If you?re anything like I was when I was a kid, what you do is you would just skip the word and keep moving. I think the reasoning that you might use to justify that is this:

You say to yourself I?m seventeen years old, I?m a pretty well functioning young adult, I have a driver?s license, I?ve been out, I?ve traveled, I?ve gone to dinner with friends, and I?ve done a bunch of stuff.
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It is also wise to come back later on and reinforce the behavior again with more praise. This can be repeated several times.

When giving praise, we need to be aware not to use negative comments or comparison. Examples of how praise loses its positive value are:

?For such a little boy, you did very well.?

?Well, now you look like a human being with your hair cut.? Unfortunately, children learn soon enough about the comparison trap. I call it a trap because you never win. You may come out on top every once in a while but you are left in a constant state of competition. This means no rest for the competitor, your child.

What we want to do is relate the praise to the event, not the child?s total character. Here are some examples of how praise can be focused on events:

?I?m glad you remembered to bring a pencil, that was good thinking.?

This gives that child the message that they can think for themselves.

?Your room looks great.
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Many is the time that I?ve whined about how some new promotional idea I?m testing didn?t return my deposit of time or money in 3 days.

Then all of a sudden, on that fourth day, I have more sales in 24 hours than I had the whole week before.

Sometimes it takes even longer. I used to look at people who would come on the Net, buy a couple of ebooks and fall bass ackwards into cash 90 days later. And I?d think ?Why not me? What am I missing? What did they do that I didn?t??

And the lesson I learned from that seven year experience were two things.

(Seven years including the small time, inconsistent returns I used to have before I really started to learn to study and be patient.
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